A Happy Mother’s day

They say mother-son relationships have a divine intervention in them. God can’t be everywhere so He sent mothers. And what not. But let’s be honest, ours is far from perfect. Hell it’s a cause of uproar most of times we’re facing each other in person. I can’t fulfill your expectations and you can’t understand me. This is for a while now. And trust me, it will be for a while to come. We both know that, we both have made a truce with that.

I know we don’t get along much, we have had our issues since ages. I know I can never love you back the same way you do to me. I do know that making Aaji(my grandmother, my mom’s mother) my mother in all worldly sense, deprived you of my love which you still crave for. I really wish I could change that, atleast after Aaji is not with us now. But I guess, sometimes we all need to get along with life. We both know your care for me is too much for your own good. It suffocates me most of the time. And ends up hurting you always. May be I truly am a failure to understand it completely. As you rightly remind me from time to time, that being a parent comes with tons of sacrifices. And children, or may be this child of yours will be always at loss to guage its magnanimity.

We both know what started it all. We have never discussed the elephant in the room. We both are too scared and cowardly to sit and 'Have a talk’. And in all honesty let’s not change it soon. Life doesn’t demand answers to everything. Even if its your decision to be a working mother and in turn asking Aaji to raise me as her own son. Yeah that one. It’s a root cause to lot of our problems apart from being the source of all my privileges. It provided our family yes, but devoured it of lot many things as well. But as I said earlier, we both need to get going with that and I guess we do it pretty well. One of the rare thing we’ve nurtured a synchronous thought process. Irony!

Having said this and everything, trust me you still mean a world to me. I try my best to be a the son you always wanted. I fail in most cases, but hell I’m not going to give up. I’m your son afterall, and for all the things you taught me, giving up was not a part of it. This cold war between us will end one day. I’m confident of that. Not today, not in a mean while, but yes it will. In all honesty, I know, it’s only me who is at war here. That all you’re capable of, is loving me more than your own life. Till then, well, let’s try our best. As we always do.

Its already a long post now. I’m 100% confident that even I share this with you, it won’t change much. I doubt you’ll even read this completely. Me writing/composing things is more of concern to you rather than something to look forward to. Let alone a mother’s day post.

So rest assured, I’m not going to share this with you anytime soon. Let’s spare the embarassment, shall we? Till then a very Happy Mother’s day Mom. This world is a beautiful place to be. And without your decision to be a mother at the first place, I wouldn’t have been here to experience it first hand. So Thank you. And Love you. And make no mistake, you’re the best I can ever ask for.

Truly yours,

Swanand.

P.S I never asked for it and you never mentioned it either. But don’t you realise it’s high time now that I should start receiving my pocket money? So what if I earn, you still owe that much to me!

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Swanand Hiwarkhedkar

Swanand Hiwarkhedkar

Writing in a hope, that one day my words will be a MEDIUM for those who can't.